LIVING ON THE FRINGES
I see so many books on the market that cater for the masses and which contain material which agents and publishers believe the public wants. I myself prefer books that depart from the mainstream and take a leap of faith into hitherto unchartered territory. That is what my most recently published book, ‘For Groddle’s Sake’ does.
My next project, the title of which I want to keep to myself at the moment, will be a kind of warts and all confessional. My aim is to take a very deep look into the human condition, but particularly at obsession. It will be autobiographical to some extent, since I have a long history of destructive obsessions, but more in terms of a thinking diary rather than an events one. I will look at the causes of obsession, in what ways it can be useful as well as destructive, and I want to try and explain associated behaviours and the serious consequences that can result from such modes of thinking, particularly in regard to fixation on a person. I want to explore the similarities and stark differences between the meaning of the words passion and obsession. I, for example, see passion as a largely positive thing and obsession as a more negative thing but I know not everyone will agree with me on this. I want to look at the compulsive behaviour that is often a direct consequence of obsessional thoughts. Ultimately I want to attempt to describe honestly the ridiculous things that go through my head on a daily basis in the hope that others will relate to some extent, rather than try and paint a picture of myself as someone that I want you to think I am. All through this book I am going to attempt not to edit to make things sound nicer or more acceptable or less stupid and pathetic than they actually are. Because believe you me my thinking and behaviour can be unbelievably pathetic and I know that there will be people out there who can relate to me. The book will also look at the state of the mental health system and the ridiculous scenarios that take place within psychiatric hospitals and for that reason it will also be a tribute to my partner. She and I never had a chance to ever actually have a proper relationship in the outside world before she died in one of those places. Ultimately it will be about extreme loneliness. I know what it is like to constantly live in your own head year after year without human companionship. It takes its toll in the end and damages you. You cannot repair that damage, you can perhaps glue yourself back together, like you might be able to do with a broken cup, but you will never get rid of the cracks.