In my travels I have met a fair amount of people.  I can safely say the most deluded people I have ever met are people who think that vivisection makes sense.  Next in line as far as delusions are concerned are shrinks.  All the shrinks I have met have held completely unfounded beliefs.  I have assessed many shrinks during sessions with them and they steadfastly adhere to their warped idea of what ‘reality’ is.  One example of their many unfounded beliefs is that certain so-called mental illnesses, the functional psychoses,  are caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain.  There is no proof of this.  But the drug companies make tons of money by promoting this crap and shrinks live in their pockets.  When someone is actively ‘psychotic’ (if we assume that psychosis is a valid way to describe anybody) , by definition they will not be aware they are ill.  You believe your so-called delusions with accompanying hallucinations are real. Most shrinks do not understand that if, for example, a person believes their friends and family are poisoning them, it may be because metaphorically, that IS THE CASE.  His mother may not be actually adding arsenic to his breakfast but she may well be poisoning his soul. Psychiatrists take the arrogant stance of assuming their version of reality is the only version of reality.  With their delusions they usually have accompanying hallucinations which reinforce their delusions.  They write about clients in notes and often claim that clients have said things or done things which they have not.  Sometimes it is just plain lies or mistakes.  Other times I wonder if they are seeing and hearing things.  If not hallucinations, then at least illusions.

To summarise, shrinks are deluded.  They may also have accompanying visual and auditory illusions or hallucinations.  Those of them who have actual hallucinations combined with their delusions, since they stick to these version of events and are utterly convinced by them, it appears they must be completely ‘psychotic’.  The only get out clause they have is that their ridiculous view of reality tends to concur with the accepted culture of the country they live in.  Therefore they can get away with being sick as fuck without being labelled as ‘psychotic’.

And one more thing.  On the subject of personality disorders, anyone who claims there is something wrong with somebody else’s personality needs to take a look at their own.   A shrink gives a fuck of a lot away about the limitations in his/her own personality when he assumes there is a problem with somebody else’s.  On another day I will take a look at the ridiculous arbitrary definitions of so-called personality disorders.  And how many more we could easily invent if we wanted to continue down this stupid road.  Just to take one example, emotionally unstable p.d.  If this exists then surely there must be another disorder called emotionally STABLE p.d. (i.e. those typically British anal people who never show any emotion.  Concrete upper lip).  But that would be culturally normal here wouldn’t it.  I mean showing emotion is bad isn’t it.  Italians do it.  How fucked up those continentals are.  And paranoid personality disorder.  That’s just anyone who accuses the system of being screwed up.  How about ‘Gullible’ personality disorder.  That’s anyone who believes all the crap fed to them by people in authority.

Shrinks are inventing more and more mental illnesses.  The more illnesses they invent, the more people will be labelled as mentally ill.  It is similar to the process we have with criminal laws.  The more laws we make, the more laws there are to break and consequently the more crimes we have and the more criminals.

Shrinks need to be stripped of their power and the whole mental health system needs to be scrapped and rebuilt from scratch.  The amount of money they are now throwing at young people’s mental health is too little too late. It is a drop in the ocean and money alone will not solve the problem.  The problem is an institution which tried to build a brick building on shifting sands.  With no foundations.  There is a wise old Indian saying which goes as follows:

‘When you are riding a dead horse the best strategy is to dismount.’

Those currently trying to improve existing services, although well meaning, are simply feeding, grooming and watering a dead horse.    The answer is to bury the horse.  Then stop riding horses and start making friends with skunks.



for groddle’s sake

The year 2199 and the known laws of physics no longer apply.  Aliens are playing black hole golf with planets and the Earth is in the grip of a perpetual winter causing worldwide seasonal affective disorder.  Due to her ridiculously dysfunctional childhood Madi has no respect for anybody and her complete lack of shame and ability to exploit the hypocrisy of the privileged will have you in fits of laughter.

This book pokes fun at the ludicrous assumptions that often form our view of reality.  Institutions on Earth are still as archaic as ever and the absurdity of the way they operate is hilariously portrayed, as is the transitory way we arrive at moral and philosophical truths.

           Will Madi ever be anything other than a selfish bitch?

            Will the pain of unrequited love be too much to bear for the sad, lonely alien who is stalking her?

Scenarios that would normally leave you in tears will instead have you giggling long after you put the book down.

Living on the fringes


I see so many books on the market that cater for the masses and which contain material which agents and publishers believe the public wants. I myself prefer books that depart from the mainstream and take a leap of faith into hitherto unchartered territory. That is what my most recently published book, ‘For Groddle’s Sake’ does.

My next project, the title of which I want to keep to myself at the moment, will be a kind of warts and all confessional.  My aim is to take a very deep look into the human condition, but particularly at obsession.  It will be autobiographical to some extent, since I have a long history of destructive obsessions, but more in terms of a thinking diary rather than an events one.  I will look at the causes of obsession, in what ways it can be useful as well as destructive, and I want to try and explain associated behaviours and the serious consequences that can result from such modes of thinking, particularly in regard to fixation on a person.   I want to explore  the similarities and stark differences between the meaning of the words passion and obsession.  I, for example, see passion as a largely positive thing and obsession as a more negative thing but I know not everyone will agree with me on this.  I want to look at the compulsive behaviour that is often a direct consequence of obsessional thoughts.  Ultimately I want to attempt to describe honestly the ridiculous things that go through my head on a daily basis in the hope that others will relate to some extent, rather than try and paint a picture of myself as someone that I want you to think I am.  All through this book I am going to attempt not to edit to make things sound nicer or more acceptable or less stupid and pathetic than they actually are.  Because believe you me my thinking and behaviour can be unbelievably pathetic and I know that there will be people out there who can relate to me.  The book will also look at the state of the mental health system and the ridiculous scenarios that take place within psychiatric hospitals and for that reason it will also be a tribute to my partner.  She and I never had a chance to ever actually have a proper relationship  in the outside world before she died in one of those places.   Ultimately it will be about extreme loneliness.  I know what it is like to constantly live in your own head year after year without human companionship. It takes its toll in the end and damages you. You cannot repair that damage, you can perhaps glue yourself back together, like you might be able to do with a broken cup, but you will never get rid of the cracks.

OFF THE AVENUE … I was living in a high rise in London once and I used to look out the window and watch people going to work and think they were stupid being part of the rat race. I used to think to myself don’t they know, don’t they realize what they are missing, they could get stoned like me, just take drugs and space out. How pathetic I was. But then again there are very valid reasons why people take drugs. There is apparently now an epidemic in the States of people being dependent on prescription opiate painkillers. Due to the cost of these many people are turning to street heroin instead because it is actually cheaper now due to the influx of cheap supplies from Afghanistan etc. People use heroin because it works. It is the most effective painkiller, both for emotional and physical pain. These days I take psychiatric medication. Anti psychotics, mood stablilisers and anti depressants mostly have side effects, some of which are frankly unbearable. Many people put on ridiculous amounts of weight on these drugs and get illnesses such as diabetes. Opiates cause no such problems and people often self medicate with them as I have done in the past. The trouble with them is that they are highly physically addictive. I believe in the legalisation of street drugs because illegality causes far more problems and does not stop people taking drugs. I would rather take a prescription of diamorphine than the medications I am on and I think it would be extremely effective, though I don’t think it would prevent depression, since personally I have never found any drug which actually effectively cured depression. People are always going to take drugs. They have been taking them since time immemorial. Rather than policing the situation, we need to look at how to improve mental wellbeing so that people will not be so inclined to look for chemicals to make themselves feel better.